Samantha Gizzlesprock’s review on the House of Sylvanas’ recent actions

Last Thursday, the peaceful citizens of Ratchet were roused by shouts and clanking of weapons. People suspected plundering pirates, or the Alliance army’s new attack (you may have read of the last one three issues ago in the Goblin Gazette, in Dlehis Brightbow’s brilliant article), but instead it was a group of elves and undead. The soldiers of the House of Sylvanas marched towards the famous and popular Broken Keel inn, demanding that all trolls and and any person associated with the Heritage of Zandalar should give themselves up to the House of Sylvanas. Fight broke out between the House’s lackeys and the inn’s customers, until the local authorities, the Bruisers of Ratchet have interfered.

What was the reason behind this outrageous behaviour on the behalf of Banshee Queen’s Royal House? What made them act as if they had any authority in a goblin town, drawing the anger of the entire Steamwheedle Cartel?

Samantha Gizzlesprock, star reporter of the Goblin Gazette, is looking into this issue.

1. Who are the House of Sylvanas?

The House of Sylvanas has served under the Dark Lady for many years now. Most Forsaken agree that the golden age of the House was under the leadership of Doctor Fathius Archnazg Magnark, the feared Dark Lord, the erudite Apothecarian, the iron-fisted Governor of Undercity. Not only has he reformed the Banshee Queen’s House when it was in a crisis, but also organized the government of Forsaken territories, and established the Supreme Forsaken Council.

Recently, to everyone’s surprise, Doctor Magnark has resigned from his position at the House, appointing Dark Misteress Raszanath to his position. Nobody knows the reason behind this sudden retreat; a certain journalist in a pirate-run newspaper, calling himself „the Allseeing”, assumed that Archnazg is „seeking a quiet and peaceful life with his family”. However, the Allseeing failed to see that the Doctor is not only undead, and the bondage of family means nothing beyond the grave, but also still holds the position of Supreme Councillor, which means he still must have a busy schedule. It is more likely that now, seizing authority over all Forsaken lands, Archnazg simply appointed a puppet leader in his old position.

2.Trolls against the House

The long-time conflict between the House and the troll guild Heritage of Zandalar is not unfamiliar to our readers. It was the trolls who objected to the undead’s union with the Horde in the first place. As the troll shaman Vypra explained: „to trolls, being undead is a terrible thing. The Loa Mue’sli is said to be angered by their existence.” Our loyal readers may still remember that the Heritage’s former leader, Warlord Snicka was put to a trial a year ago, for kidnapping and torturing a member of the House. As it was reported by this article’s author in the Gazette last year, he was found innocent.

However, this hatred between the two guilds has not stopped Lyranne, a former member of the Heritage of Zandalar, from seeking advice from Archnazg. Lyranne was not a troll, but an elf who joined the trolls to learn their dark magic, also known by the name Voodoo. However, the new powers she gained by becoming a voodoo priest backfired on her. To find a solution to her problems, she consulted Doctor Magnark – who killed her instead. However, a friend of Lyranne – her name is unknown – has resurrected her before Archnazg could turn her into a zombie.

The Heritage of Zandalar’s members reacted to this in various ways. All of them were outraged by Archnazg’s treason, however, some of them claimed they should give protection to the former elf, while others wanted to banish her from the guild for being undead. Because of the latter, Lyranne decided to leave the trolls – in their eyes, she is dead now. A troll named Corigo attempted to avenge her death, but the House’s deathguards have slain him, and he did not escape the fate which Lyranne managed to – the House have turned him into a zombie.

3. Ashen Order interferes

Nobody was surprised that the Ashen Order attempted to act as protectors of the Horde’s unity once again, and solve the conflict between the House and the Heritage, as they did a year ago. They summoned an emergency council, on which representatives of the Grimwolves, the Gthazagars of Orgrimmar, and the Warsong Blades, were also present. According to the minutes of the meeting, which our reporters managed to get from the Ashen Order guildhouse by risking life and limbs (everything for our readers), the issue of the deaths of Lyranne and Corigo, as well as the Heritage’s attack on the elf Celtius, member of the House of Sylvanas, were discussed.

The Ashen Order showed extreme incompetence in solving the matter compared to the brilliant work they have done a year ago. Although the House admitted both murders, they claimed themselves innocent, as Lyranne is undead now (which means „alive” in the eyes of the Forsaken, but „dead” in the eyes of the trolls), and they killed Corigo only in self-defence. They claimed that Corigo’s corpse was cremated – not being aware that according troll religion, destruction of the corpse is a sin. At this point, the Heritage have secluded themselves from further negotioation. The fact that Corigo was turned into a zombie was revealed only after the meeting has ended.

The Blood Pact’s reaction to the conflict varied from the proposal of a Duel of Honour between the House and the Heritage – supported by the Gthazagars and the Grimwolves – to the outrageous reaction of the Warsong Blades, claiming that ‘it will do the House good to learn boundaries and the Heritage good to learn backbone.’ The Blades, being allied to both the House and the trolls, seem to be happy about their allies fighting each other!

4. Attack on the Keel

On that Thursday night, Ryleen, Warlady of the Heritage of Zandalar, spent her time at the Happy Hours of the Broken Keel. According to Vypra, the Keel’s barmaid, the scandalous events of that night started with the elf Celtius, previous victim of the Heritage’s act of vengeance, has provoked a fight with Ryleen in front of the inn. Their duel ended with Celtius fleeing from the troll like a coward – running to his lackeys in Undercity. Several minutes later, the House’s forces have arrived.

Ignoring the fact that they have no authority on the Steamwheedle Cartel’s territory, the House demanded that all trolls, regardless of affiliation, and anyone associated with the Heritage of Zandalar, should immediately give them up to the House of Sylvanas. Vypra, being a troll herself, has denied their command, and her guests attacked the House lackeys, allowing Vypra and the other trolls to escape. The Ratchet Bruisers had to interfere, and the House members were asked to leave the town. Vypra has returned to the inn, and officially banned the House of Sylvanas from her bar.

5. Civil war wages on

Although most likely they were after Ryleen, the House could have gained advantages of capturing Vypra, as the barmaid claims to be a good friend of the Warlady, and is aware of the Heritage of Zandalar’s plans in their civil war against the House of Sylvanas. According to her, the civil war has not ended, and we can expect further actions to take place in the future from both sides.

A journalist at the pirate-run newspaper mentioned above suggests in his article that murders of certain trolls in Ratchet (of which the Gazette has reported first) are related to this conflict. This journalist closes his one eye over the fact that the number one suspect for the death of Zek’ji and Katuun is an orc, and it is not very likely that the House hires an orc assassin, and the victims were not associated with the Heritage of Zandalar.

Bruiser Captain Rizzlok has assured us that Ratchet will do everything to remain a neutral territory. „We do not want to take any side in this civil war, but disturbers of peace will be punished. The House of Sylvanas have no right to arrest anyone in our town, which will remain a sanctuary for trolls and undead alike.” Let us hope that the Bruiser Captain will keep his word!

Yes beloved readers, this did not even happen yesterday, but last tuesday! The reason for our delay is that local Goblin Bruisers wanted to keep this in inner circles, but ofcourse I did everything to investigate this dramatic, chaotic case. Again, I, Dlehis Brightbow, am risking my own life for you!

This is one of the most mysterious murders since Garona Halforcen assasinated King Llane in the fortress of Stormwind. We have a little information, but ofcourse we will try to inform you the best we can, dear readers! The murdered one’s appear to be a Reventusk Troll and a Darkspear one, and they have been found in under the docks of Ratchet. After talking to the bruisers of Ratchet, who were clearly overwhelmed by all the press, I had been giving the privilege to check out the two bodies. As I entered the heavely guarded room, I saw the Trolls lying on a small table. It was shocking to see what people can do with other living creatures. The Trolls clearly had been burned or electrified by a very powerfull lightning spell and the poor Raventusk troll was even missing his left leg. The stank of burned flesh was so disgusting that I ran out before I puked over the wooden floor.

Now, after drinking a glass of water, I changed my outfit and jumped in my chique working clothes of Golce and Dabana (lovely!). I had lot’s of questions flying trough my head and I decided to question the bruisers who found the corpses first. After walking trough the town, I found the guards sitting near the shore and when they turned their heads to me, I saw the poor, traumatised gaze in their eyes. They had gone trough a lot of drama, but they insisted on awnsering my questions; They are exclusive and the South Sea Daily doesn’t has them!

I recieved tons of information about the mysterious assasination and the bruisers told me that there was an eyewitness in Sen’jin Village who saw an old Orc with the two trolls, walking towards the south. So my next destination was Sen’jin and so I walked towards the north.

The sun was shining on the back of my head and my clothes started to become filthy ( O, my.. they were expensive!). As I crossed the river and nearly got attacked by a crocodile, I saw the village in the distance. The only thing I had to do, is find the eye-witness and that was going to be very, very though! I asked some habitants about the mysterious happenings of a few nights ago, and after speaking to a few people, I luckly had found the eye-wtiness! I (ofcourse) convinced her to let me interview her, so here an exclusive interview! (The eye-witness prefered the be anonymous, so we will be calling her Jane, I also editted her words a bit, Trollish is sooo not understandable!)

Me: So, at what time did you see the two Trolls walking away from Sen’jin?

Jane: I think it was around 10 o’clock in the evening, they were walking towards the southern shore of Durotar it seemed. I didn’t really had a watch-device with me, but I’m pretty sure it was around that time.

Me: So, you are not really sure, did the local bruisers found you already or is the GG the first?

Jane: Yes, you are.. the first one who actually found me, I’m not really into all the attention and that is why I prefer to be anonymous.

Me: We understand that hun, now.. did the Trolls had company by someone else?

Jane: I didn’t really saw a face, but by the build of the figure, I could clearly see that it was an Orc. All I saw was a black tabard and the moonlight was shining her light on a long, pointy sharp dagger.

Me: The readers, GG and I, want to thank you very much for this exclusive interview hun, hang in there!

This leaves me with lots of questions; Who was the Orc, who were the Trolls, where did they actually get murderd and why did the Trolls follow an Orc with a large dagger? I am sure that this isn’t the end.. I feel a conspiracy-plot with loads of drama. In a few days I will report again, hoping to have something new, but first I’m off doing some shopping in the newly opened Fucci store!

yours,
Dlehis Brightbow

by your favourite journalist on the spot Dlehis Brightbow

What a lovely night to go out, that is what I tought when I entered Ratchet yesterday evening. The moon and stars were shining with their light on my lovely hair and I was feeling sexy with my new Fucci jeans and Sersace boots. I entered the famous Broken Keel and I didn’t even had the chance to sit or there was an argue between a Forsaken and Orc. I quickly grabbed my notebook and pencil and sniffed the air: It smelled like drama!

The Orc was being accused of stealing the property of the Forsaken, some tongue’s say it was a secret dark heirloom, but that wasn’t confirmed by the Forsaken wich had been called Paakun by his “bodyguards” ( They weren’t very impressive and smart I’d say).
After talking a lot, Paakun decided they’d sort it out outside, I wasn’t sure what he ment, but I decided to follow them and I hoped my new clothes wouldn’t get damaged during my investigation! I saw them walking towards a building next to the inn. Paakun and the scared Orc entered the house while the bodyguards guarded the door. I could not pass, so I heroicly sneaked trough a small window on the back of the building and climbed the stairs. The Forsaken had frozen the door, so I could only listen to what they were saying…

While listening carefully to the conversation, I heard the Orc crying, Paakun cleary hit the young Orc and I think after the smack, the Orc gave Paakun his heirloom back. But this wasn’t the end, I was about the find out, that the Orc was a pirate! And not just some kind of pirate, he told Paakun, who later admits he is crazy, that he was a member of the Blacksail Blackhands. After doing some research, I linked the fake clan to the famous Bloodsail Blackhands, the most wanted pirate-clan of Azeroth! The Orc pirate said he was a new recruit and was so scared, he was crying like a baby! Not really a though pirate at all! Paakun was yelling that he would kill the Orc if he wouldn’t awnser, but the wimp let the Orc go as soon as he had enough awnsers, very, very noble of you Paakun… NOT!

I knew the drama was over, so I left the building with a grin on my face and I was glad my new fashionable clothes weren’t torned apart!
I even misslead the bodyguards, those fools.. I re-entered the Keel and noticed a Sin’dorei with a beautiful haircut and a lovely Vouis Liton dress, but I will write about that next time! More drama, more excitement!

yours,
Dlehis Brightbow

by your favourite journalist on the spot; Dlehis Brightbow!

It seemed like a quiet night when I walked towards the Broken Keel. It had been a while since I was last seen here, but after thinking about it for a while, I decided to go for a lovely night out. As soon as I entered the doorstep of the tavern, I almost got trampled by three large and angry looking Tauren and a fierce looking trollish lady. As I turned by head, I could recognize the lady; it was the barmaid of the Broken Keel, Vypra. Quickly I peered towards the tabards of the Tauren, and saw the mark of the Warsong Blades. I grabbed my notebook and pencil out my satchel and quickly followed the angry group: I smelled some good old drama and a juicy story!

Just outside the inn, I saw what was happening. Apparently, an aggresive group of Alliance rangers and warriors had been attacking the staff of the Broken Keel, and Vypra and the Blades were looking for revenge. The battle was though, long and fierce and blood was flying trough the air like it was nothing. Arrows swiftly flew in every directions, two even took a wisp of my hair with them! I knew I was in the middle of a dangerous fight, but nothing could stop me from having the perfect story. Yes readers, I did it all for you!
Suddenly there was a big bang and dust was rising up towards the dark looking sky, I saw lightning flying trough the air, but suddenly it all became silent and when the dust was fading away, I saw Vypra and the Tauren walking heroicly back the the Keel. I saw a few scars on their hands an faces and blood was dripping behind them as they became closer to the Keel.

But this wasn’t the end! More and more Alliance seemed to gather in the hills outside Ratchet and I needed to investigate if it was some sort of clan we were dealing with. I sneaked inside a building and climbed on the roof, trying to find out who they were. Apparently, the Blades called for the aid of the Unseelie Court, because a few elves entered Ratchet, making some sort off defend-formation on the main square of Ratchet. I felt the adrenaline pumping trough my veins and still I couldn’t recognize the tabards of the Alliance-army. After a few minutes of doing research in the Silvermoon Library later that night, I would find out that it was the chaotic-evil army; Assault and Recon Corps.
The Unseelie court started the attack and again, Vypra and the Tauren came to aid, alongside two Sindorei and a Forsaken. I jumped from the roof, studying the fight, but I got hit by several arrows in my legs and arms. With my last energy I pulled the arrows out and decided I needed to finish my story, but I’m sorry dear readers, I fainted while climbing back on the roof again and by the time I woke up, the battle was already over…

Assault and Recon Corps had fled towards the mountains, not knowing if they would return. A few minutes later, an ambassador of the Kirin’tor arrived, but like always, he was a little to late with negotiating; Good Job Kirin’tor! It became darker and stars appeared above my head, my wounds are healing pretty fast, so don’t worry readers, your favourite reporter will be better soon and more juicy, gossipy drama story’s will follow!

See you next time!
~Dlehis Brightbow~

Competition! Cheating! Murder!

And much more, by Samantha Gizzlesprock

The sound of engines has broken the silence of Kalimdor. Vexacus (58), the Extreme Angler has challenged the owners of the latest invention of goblin engineers, the mechano-hog (also known as chopper or motorbike), to a competition. Vexacus boasts of being the builder and owner of the fastest hog, and organized the Kalimdor Road Rash to prove it.

The race is about to start

The Four Riders of Apocalypse

The competitors showed up at the Mirage Raceway during the afternoon. Vexacus was accompanied by an undead, by the name of Aolwehten (39). His opponents were Ryleen (22), the charming leader of the Heritage of Zandalar, Vypra (24), the barmaid of the Broken Keel tavern and the mate of Vexacus, and the sinister troll Crowley (42), agent of the Ashen Order, accompanied with his bovine co-pilot, Nerissa (61).

Samantha Gizzlesprock: Why have you joined the competition?

Vexacus: It known fact I have best chopper in all of Kalimdor! Thats why I challenge people to compete!

Vypra: I woulda liked ta win, bu’ jus’ racin’ cross country like dat be worth it!

Ryleen: I’ve enjoyed engineering for many years now. When I got my hands on the

schematics for a bike, I knew I just had to try to construct one.

Incident at the Lift

The four hogs rode through Thousand Needles, leaving the marauding centaurs behind. However, at the Great Lift, the first accident happened. Though Ryleen was the first one reaching the lift, eventually all four bikes ended up on the same platform. „We were almost at the top when my bike suddenly rolled off the edge.” said Ryleen. „I was convinced I had put the safety break in to not risk rolling off.”

Was this an accident, or did someone intentionally push the bike off? According to Ryleen „both Crowley and Vexacus were right beside me, either one could have done it.” Vexacus claims the troll girl and her bike fell by accident, while Vypra suspects that Crowley has done it, as „he be a sneaky bugger”. But let us not forget that Vypra is the mate of Vexacus, so she’s not an objective witness. Is it possible that, seeing that Ryleen’s hog is faster, the old orc attempted a cheat to win the race? If this was the case, this would put the competition and its organizer in a very bad light.

Fortunately, Ryleen survived the fall, as her „bike took most of the damage. It’s got some nasty dents, and when I examined it after the race I realised it was just barely it kept running at all.” Like a miracle, she soon caught up with the others.

The racers at the Great Lift, leaving Ryleen behind

As the Crow flies

Through Dustwallow Marsh, the Barrens, Ashenvale and Felwood, the racers finally reached Everlook with no more trouble. Even the Grimtotem tauren and the wild beasts of Felwood could not harm them. Though Vypra was leading for a long time, but due to some steering problems, all of her three opponets overtook her, so finally, Crowley and Nerissa hit the goal the first, closely followed by Ryleen. Vexacus and Eolthewen won the bronze, while Vypra finished in the last position.

Samantha Gizzlesprock: What was Crowley’s secret? How could he win?

Vexacus: Not be faster.  Maybe he know secret way, shortcuts. My copilot just make funny noises all the way, maybe his help him!

Vypra: I reckon he probly scout out da route firs’… make sure he know da terrain an’ dat!

Ryleen: I could have won. But Crowley found a nice little shortut through Felwood that I had missed.

A test of the best and fastest

Vexacus, maker of the fastest(?) hogs

Although he didn’t win the race, Vexacus still brags of his bikes being the fastest and the best on Azeroth, claiming

that the trolls beat him only because of their knowledge of secret routes.

However, according to Vypra (who also rode a chopper made by Vexacus), „I had some steerin’ problems dat i tink cost me da race…. I jus’ gonna have ta try iron ‘em out fo’ da nex’ one”. While Ryleen’s hog (made by herself) not only survived the fall from the Great Lift, but she managed to reach Everlook with it. The bikes of Vexacus may be the fastest, but certainly not the best.

But even Ryleen admitted that she cannot make her hogs without the help of Goblin technology. „Many of the parts has to be custom made by specialised craftsmen. For example the goblin-machined pistons, since schematics for those can’t be bought.” Currently, the best goblin hog-maker is arguably Harli de Widdson (51), citizen of Undermine.

Loser on the loose

One competitor could bear his defeat even less than Vexacus: his co-pilot Alowethen. After the race, he left the celebrating crowd, telling them that he needs to „get a bite to eat”. What he didn’t tell his fellow racers is that his food is going to be an innocent visitor of Everlook. The victim was viciously mangled by the undead, and her certain bodyparts devoured.

The guards of Everlook attacked the ravaging undead, who fled to the woods of Winterspring. The victim’s corpse was recovered, but she was so brutally mangled that she could not be identified.

Aelothewen is still on the loose, he is wanted by the Everlook authorities.

- BREAKING NEWS -

by Samantha Gizzlesprock

Last night, a large, menacing ship was spotted at the southtern shores of Westfall. The lookouts in the watchtower spotted the black flag with a skull, that made it clear: this was no friendly ship. As they were approaching the docks, the lookouts sent their report to the Stormwind Militia.

At the very same time, at the northern shores, another ship was spotted. They sailed under a different flag, which reportedly belonged to the Salty Tide Privateers. The Privateers were once a group of merchants in Menethil Harbour, however, they quickly turned to piracy. When the Militia has arrived, they found a united pirate crew pillaging Sentinel Hill.

Salty Tide Privateers crew

Now, Westfall has faced many pirate attacks before. Its closeness to the South Seas means that regular attacks from the Bloodsail Buccaneers were inevitable. However, it has only once happened before that two pirate crews attacked at the same time – that time, it was the Buccaneers and the Blackwater Raiders, two pirate groups in constant conflict, and the attack ended up in a brawl between the two crews for the right of pillaging. When the Militia has arrived, they had not much to do – they found only dead pirates.

This time, however, instead of fighting each other, the two pirate crews have joined each other’s forces, and the Militia had a long and bloody fight with them. According to the official report of the Stormwind Council: “The corsairs have retreated. Deaths and injuries happened on both sides, but we do not expect any further pirate attacks.”

But is the situation really this safe? According to reliable sources, Commander Pilus Malbridge (24), head of the Stormwind Militia, has not been seen since the pirate attack. What happened to him? Was he slain by the pillagers? Or was he captured by them as a hostage?

The fact that the pirates worked together instead of fighting each other confirms the rumors of the existence of a Pirate Court. It is said that Captain Shadowtroll (45) of the Bloodsail Blackhands and Admiral Nec Demonwretcher (64) of the Salty Tide Privateers have formed a pact to rule the seas together. Until now, the existence of the Court was denied, but these attacks prove the opposite.

Also, it is very likely that the pirates got help from the criminal forces that already work in Westfall. The Defias Brotherhood is most likely helping them. However, some of our sources confirm that an even more dangerous criminal group, a Scourge-affiliated cult is also involved. People spotted cultists in black robes among the pirates, summoning demons and ghouls.

Perhaps there’s more behind this attack than a simple plundering? Perhaps the Pirate Court is planning to take over all harbours? Or are the pirates just mere tools behind something much bigger?

The hottest news brought to you by Samantha Gizzlesprock!

Brill Residents Lose Night’s Sleep Over Haphazard Expansion Effort

Last night the citizens of the sleepy town of Brill were rudely awakened by the sound of feverish activity as the G.A.C. raised a new tower on the outskirts of town. Assorted Goblins, Orcs and even some human mages were seen constructing the new tower. When confronted, Haman Grockwrench stated; “Look, I just work here, ‘kay? Dunno what it’s for, don’care really.”. Similar construction efforts have been reported outside Orgrimmar, but are as yet unconfirmed.

The new tower in Brill

Disturbing fact of the new development is its timely appearance after Mister Gromwell took over the lease and license for the Gallows’End Tavern for a mere pittance. Already rumours of insider trading and bribes are floating about, being duly investigated by this newspaper.

This recent development in the affairs of the Goblin Airship Company, combined with unconfirmed and vehemently denied yet stubborn rumours of a recent airship crash over the North Sea does raise questions about the G.A.C.’s management and the safety of our airways.

Both Mister Gromwell and the G.A.C. were not available for comment.

General Yrjial Stormscream together with her husband Alaster Grymm leads the Ashen Order, a special forces group that acts under Thrall’s supervision. Which many may already know the General is pregnant, something that raises several questions. Questions the Gazette feels obliged to seek answers to.

Alaster Grymm is a Forsaken. This is perhaps the chief concern in the matter. It is commonly known that the ability to reproduce as a Forsaken is nill. However as we in the Gazette are faithful supporters of Hard Fact we went to Undercity to seek out one of the furthermost authorities on Forsaken matters such as these to get a final answer - Lord Archnazg Magnark. Not only is he Sylvanas’ right hand man and the leader of the House of Sylvanas, but also a celebrated doctor of the the Royal Apothecary in Undercity. When questioned on the matter he answered thusly:

“As Forsaken are dead. The sperm cells are, also. Alas, it is impossible for a Forsaken to impregnate anything.”

So there we have it, dear readers. Doctor Grymm can not be the father of Yrjials unborned child. The once respected general, an adamant rock of strength and moral, has cracked and begotten a child with another man, while still in marriage with Alaster Grymm. Alaster himself have been absent now for quite a while. Officially it is said that he travelled to Northrend to aid in the war effort against the Scourge. But is this why he really went? Many suspect that the real reason for his sudden absence is that he left Yrjial as he could not stomach being with her when he found out that she clearly has had an affair with another man.

 Sources tell us of rumors that used to circulate within the Order a good while back about a suspected secret romance between Yrjial and one of her councillors, Turk Zala’Bon. Is he the real father? Perhaps Alaster just lacked the abilites needed to please a demanding woman such as Yrjial and Turk was the perfect troll to satisfy her more carnal needs?

The Gazette, determined to shed some light on this scandalous affair and bring Truth to the people, sought out Kaali Tzataluul, Senechal of Ashen Order and close friend of Yrjial. Among telling us how much they liked eachother and how they use to bath together (another sign of Yrjials obviously strong “needs”?), she then told us something quite surprising, something that took the whole story to a totally new place.

 While the moonlight made her eyes sparkle from behind her wooden mask depicting some voodoo devil she told us a story of how Yrjial had been taken to a mountain where she had participated in some Winterspythe ritual where “… de’ spirit brin’ she baby, cha?”   It is not unknown that many of these rituals, especially trollish ones, that celebrate the spirits and such, are sexual in character. Is this perhaps the answer to the question?

Yrjial Stormscream, a noteworthy military general in charge of one of the more elite groups in the Horde, participates in religious extremist ritual sex orgies? Is this how it happened? One of the countless participants of the orgy managed to impregnate the General and to try and cover it up they weave up some incredible story about a spirit giving her the baby? No wonder Alaster left.

 In one final attempt to find the Truth our brave reporter went to the Order guildhall to perhaps bring forth Truth through confrontation. However the people of the Ashen Order was not susceptible to our humble questions and they answered with brutal voilence. Our reporter is now recovering in an infirmary after the severe burns he got when thrown into a fire by Councillor Vaali Tzataluul. As you might guess he is one of Kaali’s countless siblings, a family who is well known to have no qualms over participating in any carnal pleasure – is this perhaps become descriptive of the Order as a whole? Is this the Order we want to handle our law and host our legal trials? Is this the Order we want to decide the fate of our most dangerous criminals?

This the Gazette asks, and so should you.

Artists impression of Yrjials rituals.

First-hand report from the Orgrimmar Halls of Justice by Samantha Gizzlesprock

Dozens of people attended the trial of Snicka, Warlord of the Heritage of Zandalar last night in Orgrimmar, in the Ring of Valor. The troll warlord was accused of kidnapping and torturing Malicestrom, High Shadowstalker of the House of Sylvanas, as we have reported in our last issue.

The accused, Snicka is the self-named Warlord of the troll tribe calling themselves the Heritage of Zandalar. His guild was formerly dedicated to the Amani warlord Zul’jin, but apparently turned away from him after the leader of Zul’Aman declared war on the Horde. Yet, is it rumored that Snicka still works for Zul’jin in secret. Previously he has been accused by attempted murder, and offensive behaviour on the Scryers’ tier.

Judge Davos Grymm of the Ashen Order was the leader of the law court. Elder brother of the guild’s leader, Alaster Grymm, Davos is the former Councilor of Law in the Order, a position currently taken by the troll Turk Zala’bon, who could not be present at the beginning of the trial. Despite being Undead, he is apparently a devoted priest of the Holy Light, a power that is known to destroy undeath.

On behalf of the prosecution, Dr. Archnazg Magnark spoke. Dr. Magnark currently holds the titles of the High Apothecarian and the Dark Lord of the House of Sylvanas, and is said to be the right-hand man of Sylvanas Windrunner; some even speculate a romantic relationship between him and the Banshee Queen. He is said to perform illegal experiments in his laboratory; brewing poisons and creating new forms of Undeath. He is also said to control a massive army of demons.

A young and rather attractive troll lady called Ryleen from the Heritage of Zandalar spoke in defense of her Warlord. Born among the Darkspear trolls, Ryleen left her tribe at a young age and was educated in Silvermoon City by elven arcanists. Being more civilized and educated than most of her kin, she recently returned to her roots and joined the Heritage of Zandalar, where she holds the position of the Treasurer.

The trial itself was short and straight. Ryleen replied to Archnazg’s accusation by telling that Malicestrom was not captured, but agreed with the Heritage on him pretending to be a hostage. He was treated like a guest, and protected from the House. Yet, he disappeared just two days before the trial. Archnazg, on the other hand, claimed that Malicestrom has returned to them and was poisoned and covered with wounds.

The living proof, Malicestrom was not present, so Judge Grymm was about to cancel the trial in lack of evidence, when Ryleen summoned a witness: Gorthark of the Bleeding Axe Clan. The orc chieftain claimed he was present when Malicestrom and Snicka agreed on the fake kidnapping. The court found the accused innocent in the sin of kidnapping, but sentenced him to pay one hundred gold pieces to the Orgrimmar authorities for his unwise decision and provocative act. Yet the House of Sylvanas was sentenced to pay one hundred and fifty gold pieces to the Heritage of Zandalar for ruining their fame and accusing them

Different opinions were heard after the trial:

“Let’s face it: Snicka was paid fifty gold pieces for kidnapping a House of Sylvanas officer. Is that what you call a fair judgement?”

“Archnazg tried to mislead the judge with lies. He summoned infernals on Sen’jin Village. And he’s still walking free?”

“The Ashen Order dared to interfere in a conflict which should have been solved between Archnazg and Snicka in a fair fight instead!”

“I be ‘appy Snicka be free… ‘e be such a handsome mon, ‘e can’ be guilty.”

Do you have your own opinion? Feel free to share it with the Goblin Gazette!

Breaking news by Samantha Gizzlesprock, directly from the heart of Durotar

All Azeroth was surprised when Thrall, Warchief of the Horde and Sylvanas Windrunner, Banshee Queen of the Forsaken formed their pact we know now as the New Horde. The races of the Old Horde, the orcs, the trolls and the tauren showed mistrust towards their new undead allies since then. “I don’t like anything at all about them…” “Skinny, smelly and scheming!” “I bet they still serve the Lich King in secret!” “Cursed, twisted creations breaking Nature’s Laws!” Such opinions are heard on the streets of Orgrimmar and Thunder Bluff all the time. Some even think that Thrall’s mind has been possessed by the Banshee Queen, and mistrust the Warchief too. “Dat witch ’as poisoned dat big orc’s li’l brains!” said a citizen of Sen’jin Village. “Dem Undead be usin’ us as puppets now! But we cannot bear dis!”

The recent acts of the undead criminal Tivak has put some oil on the fire. After poisoning a troll girl in the Broken Keel in Ratchet, as we have reported in our last issue, he is also accused of capturing and torturing several trolls and tauren, and performing illegal experiments on them. Yet, Sylvanas has made no efforts to stop him; it is likely that she even supports Tivak’s experiments, although she hides this from Thrall. Dr. Archnazg Magnark, leader of the House of Sylvanas and right-hand man of the Banshee Queen has offered protection for Tivak from the relatives of his victims. The tauren Liontooth Grimtotem has been arrested in the Undercity. The Greywolf tauren have rescued him and declared war against the House of Sylvanas.

Having enough of the Horde leadership closing eyes over Tivak’s deeds, a band of trolls, led by the infamous Warlord Snicka, known devoter of Zul’jin, have captured a House of Sylvanas officer, High Shadowstalker Malicestrom. They attempted to blackmail the House and trade Malicestrom for Tivak; they threatened the House with killing Malicestrom unless they accept their offer. Archnazg responded to this by attacking Sen’jin Village. According to the citizen of Sen’jin mentioned above, “Dere have been at least twenty, maybe thirty undead raiders. Snicka an’ his mons tried to fight him, but dey summoned dem big burnin’ rock demons who put da top of our huts on fire!” Malicestrom’s present location is unknown, it’s possible that the trolls have killed him.

Summoning demons on Horde land and turning them against members of the Horde, innocent or guilty, is something that has not happened since Thrall agreed to accept the Warlocks into the Horde. Some Orcish guilds like the Bleeding Axe Clan and the Warsong Blades have expressed their intentions to punish the House of Sylvanas for this. “The Demons are the fiercest enemies of our race since we have broken free from the Burning Legion!” according to a Warsong grunt. “If the undead summon infernals, they’ll get what they deserve for it!”

To avoid the unavoidable civil war, the guild Ashen Order has made efforts to arrest the ones responsible for the conflict. They got Snicka, and has made an an attempt to do the same with Tivak too. Though Archnazg Magnark was willing to hand the criminal over, despite that he offered protection to him before, the evil mage managed to escape, and is still on the loose. Yet, there are a lot of people unsatisfied with the Order’s acts. “Da Orda’ ’as not known anythin’ ’bout wot happened, an’ yet dey act as if dey been Justice demselves!” Ironically, all guilds involved, except for the Orcish clans, have been involved in the Blood Pact before.

Will the Horde be able to avoid the conflict, or will it fall apart? How much longer will the Old Horde races and the Forsaken be able to put their hatred against each other away? Will the Horde, broken apart, be able to protect themselves from the Alliance?

Goblin Gazette, bringing you the latest news from first-hand sources!